Happy New Year

It would be strange if I posted my new year's resolutions on the 2nd so I have to attempt to finish this entry as quickly as I can before 12 am tonight.

This New Year again was uneventful and extremely foggy. As I can recall my new year were never exciting to begin with...

As far back as I can remember,

• December 31, 2005-I counted down alone and just took pictures of myself and a gift my boyfriend at the time gave me. I did receive two phone calls wishing me a happy new year which was nice.

hehe yes I was lame

• December 31,2006- This year was a bit different. After the summer, and a new boyfriend, my parents were much more lenient of me going out and coming home late. My boyfriend and I watched Blood Diamond and we counted down in the movie theaters. Afterwards, we went to his friends house where his other friends were there and they made us omelets and we ate and talked. It was small and it was intimate. It was actually really sweet and really fun.
• December 31, 2007-I was high and it was depressing.
  
• December 31, 2008-This year was interesting. I wasn't really planning on going out for New Year's but I figure since it was new years, I might as well. Jocelyn, Marvin, and I went to a party in Palos Verdes, a very rich neighborhood. It was a very beautiful house. The music was horrible, the drinks were strong. However, about ten minutes after 12 a fight broke out and one side actually pulled out a freaking ax and started going at it on a car. We drove around looking for this other party, but ended up giving up since it was just too foggy outside.

So this year, it was alright. I can't say that I had a ton of fun, but I mean I was bored either. I was able to count down with my best friends, and I'm content with that.

Looking back on 2008, I'm happy with what has happened but not necessarily satisfied. This year, I started school at Berkeley, and I really feel that I wasted my first semester at Berkeley. Partly because I was too shy to join any clubs or attempt to put myself out there. I stayed mostly in my dorms and hung out with my few close friends. I had a lot of fun outside of school, my social life was at a new high, but my academic life was left unfulfilled. Returning to Lawndale for the summer, I felt as if I didn't belong anymore. I couldn't relate to most of my friends and in reality I didn't want to anymore. This feeling only intensified this break. Fall semester at Berkeley was for a lack of a better word, AMAZING. I became more active, I joined VSA which I am so glad I did because I met so many people great people. My friends from SoCal came up and I showed them the best time. I became a whole lot closer with my roommates and Steve, and met really cool kids [Ryan, Alex, Sophia]. Together we made-ROYGBIV [right order?]. I finally feel like I'm slowly starting to make my mark at Berkeley through the Vietnamese community which for a really long time, I had a disconnect from it.

But to touch back on the note of my life in Berkeley and in Lawndale, I feel as though I have to different identities. Or rather, I just don't feel like I can be myself here at Lawndale. I become extremely anti-social and I hate going out. Even going to place alone like shopping at the mall or walking around target, I feel like I can't even really act like myself. I don't know, its strange. For me, even though I obviously don't know everyone, at Berkeley everyone and everything fits into place. Being here in Lawndale, I'm out of my realm. It's scary that I sometimes consider Berkeley to be more of a home then here. I just wish I could take my best friends and move them up here with me.

Speaking of my friends, more specifically, Percilla. I love that girl to death. She has been my best friend since the 7th grade and with her, I could be gone for 5 years and come back and talk to her like I just saw her the day before. I am just in love with the way she carries herself, how she cares for the people around her, and how she truly does not give a fuck. LOL She is fcking confident and beautiful.

And Last, But not least...

My New Year's resolutions for 2009:

• Eat healthier-I must admit, I give into cravings way too easily. I have really bad eating habits.
  
• Have more discipline in mind and body-This semester is going to kick my ass if I don't keep myself in check. I made that mistake this semester and I am regretting it.
  
• Read More- I do not do that enough
  
• Drink green tea!-It helps with the metabolism and studies show that people who drink green tea are less likely to have cancer
  
• Be organized
• Put myself out there-networking wise, friend wise, everything
  
• Drink less-I do it way too much. It's not healthy. It's also starting to get old and repetitive.
  
• Understand the meaning of a womyn-I feel like I owe it to myself to do that.
  
• Be more aware of my surroundings
  
• Blag more...update at least once every week
  

Finally

Leilani and I created blogs so we can each be each other followers, this was about three weeks ago, not even maybe even a month ago! But I've barely [now] taken the time to have an entry. It's just the idea of having a blog is fun, but when it comes down to actually writing, I get helllaaa lazy. But the longer I put it off, the more I have to say and the more I have to say that means the more I have to write and the more I have to write the lazier I get and then I put off blogging even more. And so a day becomes a week and then a week becomes a month, and here I am with a blog with no entries. I never win. But an end is an end! So here's to my first entry...

November 4, 2008: Truly a historical moment in time. The first elected black president. There was a huge demographic shift with young voters [first time voter!] and communities of color turning out to vote, definitely demonstrating that we are ready for a change. The announcement came around 8 and my roommates sat there stunned that a winner was predicted so early. That night was truly EPIC. I cannot find a better word to describe it After the announcement, Berkeley had this HUGE parade, thousands of students, POURED out into the streets to go all around the city and campus. My friends and I along with the rest of the campus walked and cheered, chanted and cried for a good 3+ hours. Even though I did not know the person in front of me or behind me when we marched around the streets of Berkeley, I could not help but feel a sense of unity and bond with each and everyone on the streets. I was so grateful to be in Berkeley during this time. It was great to see solidarity among the community and to witness and PARTICIPATE on something momentous like this.

But as we celebrated Obama's victory, many of us were still anxious about the results of many of the props, in particular Prop 8. The next morning was bittersweet. The passing of Prop 8 was a huge contradiction to what happened the night before. It was as though California took one step forward, but two HUGE steps back. I couldn't and still CAN'T fathom the fact that we are living in a society where we have allowed the creation of second class citizens [again]. On Friday[11/9], my friends and I went to a rally in SF in protest of proposition 8. As we walked from the Civic Center to Dolores Parks, I was overcome with emotion knowing that this type of injustice was approved by the majority of Californians. But the number of people that turned out showed me that even through times of trouble, love can and will conquer all.

And to further on continue with this lack of acceptance, what the fuck is going on with the situation of the Thai temple? This Sunday, I went to the Thai Temple in Berkeley for Sunday Brunch. As my friend and I walked towards the temple I saw people leaving with mounds of food and desserts. YUMMY! Walking to the back, we were greeted the sweet smell of pad Thai and sweet sticky rice deserts. People were mingling and enjoying their meals. The food I had was delicious and well worth the donation. The food was for a lack of a better word, AMAZING, the place was clean, and the noise level was moderate [really they were just sounds of laughter and chit chat]. Lately I've heard about the complaints made against the Thai Temple. Neighbors have complained that the "food smells," there's too much trash and it is too noisy. I did not see any of that when I went this Sunday. What I saw was a social gathering for friends to catch up with friends, for small children to run in the small garden in the back, for people to just enjoy the delicacies of Thai food, for families to reconnect on a Sunday after their busy schedules. These claims are ridiculous! To me, Berkeley is an infusion of cultures and the shutting down of Thai temple, I feel, is extremely detrimental to the community because it shows that we promote this lack of acceptance and diversity. I mean its 2008, we have come a long way from discrimination and if anything I feel that we have enter a time and age where we no longer criticize and fear what is different but rather learn from it and embrace different ideas and lifestyles. It is a shame because the only thing Thai Temple does is promote community something that most of us really need to learn the meaning of.

I think that complaints towards the Thai Temple really hit home to me only because I remember when I was younger I was HELLLAAA embarrassed to have my friends come over in fear of them smelling my mom's cooking. You know that fish sauce, that soy sauce. And to hear that one of the reasons why they want to close down Thai temple was because IT SMELLS BAD, was like a slap to the face. It brought me back to when I was afraid of what my friends would think of me. "Your place smells like fish this shit smells it smells too Asian"

The FUCK


I fucking miss the smell of nuoc mam, because I'm not going to lie, to me that smell is not equivalent to the smell of fish, but it is the smell of sweetness, it is a reminder of times when my mom cooked after working 7-7 to feed a family of 4 who rarely spoke to each other in the first place and dinner was the only time that allowed us to come together as a family. and FOR you to fucking come up in my home and insult me by criticizing what my mom has done due to the lack of refinement of your senses well...

FUCK YOU

as I became older I no longer was ashamed of what my mom cooked, I inhaled and embraced it. I realize that here is nothing to be ashamed of and what I was feeling when I was younger should have never been felt. This was really another step to accepting me.

nuoc mam is the smell of my home.

The biggest insult to me that anyone can make is attacking another culture's food. Because food is not just food, it is history, it is love, it is time, it is identity, and an attack on my mother's cuisine is an attack on me

-mindy